Don't lie

This grainy photo is of a toy at Gentings. It can be read as 2 words - lie and Bao separately, put together it probably means where a "Bao is not telling the truth".

But trust. Trust is over-rated, no?

Yes it is, especially so in a relationship.

A lot of times when someone is being enquired on a matter, the person will turn back and ask, "Don't you trust me?".

Seriously though, how would trusting the person help?

More than often, trust is one-sided. The act of trusting another person will entail someone to let down his defenses and be hurt much more than ever. Trust is misused and over-used.

Look at all the cases of infidelity. One spouse trusted the other, but when the other spouse is about to commit the said act, would this "trust" materialize and stop it from happening? Would the person stop because someone else trusted in him/her?

No. Not a chance.

Trust is a naive idea that serves to cloud the mind and sweeten the lie. It means nothing when a person says it out that the other person is trusted.

If a girl tells a guy that she trusts him, do you think it will make him change his ways? An iron rod will probably work better.

If the person is reliable and trustworthy, even if you don't trust the person, you have no danger of being hurt. But if the person is thinking of committing some sin, no matter how much trust you levy on the person, all you are getting back is hurt, and a bucket load of it.

Wake up, smell the roses and count your blessings. Don't think that all people are as nice as you.

Trust me on this.

Busy turning around

Its been a long time coming. Bo Eng is really an understatement.

Work came, shit happened, I blamed myself and a viscous cycle ruled my life.

I always felt that things are within my control, that when something succeeds or fails you can find my imprint somewhere in that mess. That's how I motivate myself each morning when I pick myself up blurry-eyed from bed at five thirty, before the sun rise or when most of Singapore are still in their dreams. That I am responsible for the day's pickings and I have to ensure that everything I do is right, every single move I make is the correct choice.

How foolish.

When something fails I take personal blame and responsibility of the cause, much to the concern of my loved ones and the slight amusement of my superiors.

I got sick. I got short tempered. I distanced the people who cared for me and I kept wondering what can I do to improve myself.

All this continued until an incident at work woke me up. The sheer gravity of the issue finally made me realize my puny existence. That sometimes when shit happens, you just scrub it off the sole of your shoe and walk away. You cannot make the shit disappear, its there.

Alot of times it is easier said than done.

But I think I am easing it up alittle, if anything.

I need to read, write, drink, eat and laugh.

I am making an attempt to write at least twice weekly, to chronologicalize (is this an actual English word?) my life a little more. My memory can't serve me all that well.